Find Yourself Another Counselor

Recently, I have become very closely acquainted with matters of infidelity. DON”T FREAK! I’m not the victim or the victimizer.

I have read articles and heard stories, that, well… are truly disturbing, but none like this one. I am going to skip through the details because, if I would have been able to choose, I would have chosen to never, ever know about this. Really – I have lost sleep and a few other things over this one.

Let’s get down to the important part. How to deal with infidelity and what is the right way to deal with your cheating spouse according the Bible. I wanted to write a Bible verse-laced post so that any serious and experienced Christian who read it (not that I have any kind of a following or anything) would see that I was diligent in my research, however I have decided that I will go with my gut. All this means is that I am going to vent and tell you how I think things shouldn't be handled… just for the sake of getting this off my chest and in the hope that certain people will stumble across this post.

Ladies, please, let me tell you that I have not been in your situation. I may be one day, but I pray I am not. I don’t want to be and more importantly, I don’t want my husband to be in this situation because I love him. I also want to let you know that every story is different and I don’t intend to say, with any kind of authority, that specific actions are not required because I am not a professional. With that said, I will tell you from the get-go that EMASCULATING your husband and the father of your children in not the way to go. I find this method appalling and I want to denounce it right now. Just as I don't agree when a male counselor wants to blame the woman for everything and expects for a woman to carry a black eye for the sake of Eph 5:22, I don’t understand how any Christian counselor will suggest or agree to EMASCULATING your husband and in my humble opinion it will only create a weaker man.

I am a mother of two boys and I will tell you that I may have no idea on how to raise them, but one thing that I am sure of is that I will never accept for any woman to humiliate them. If I, their mother who carried and birthed them do not use humiliation as a disciplinary tactic, you can be sure that I will not accept it from anyone else.

Ladies, please beware. You are not helping your husbands to be a strong man in Christ if you are doing these kinds of things. He has to earn back your trust, yes, but don’t think that you are now the man of the house and have to slap him around. Nowhere in the Bible have I ever read that it is even a little bit OK to emotionally abuse each other in this manner. If the respect is gone and things have gone so far off path, then maybe it’s time to let go and let God. You are not just your husband’s victim now, but you are your own victim at this point. You are a victim of your own pride. You are probably putting your kids through hell. They know. They always know. And please don’t teach your kids (daughters) that all men are weak animals because THAT IS NOT WHAT GOD MADE MAN TO BE.

Ha! Just when you thought I was a feminist, I drop this bomb! Well, it sickens me beyond belief that this is happening and that there are actual professionals doing this. Maybe I don’t understand. Maybe I just can’t understand because I am not the one going through it, but if you believe in God’s unconditional love, you know that we are all sinners and yet Christ died for us without any strings attached. He offers us His Love and forgiveness without beating us down or making us feel unworthy. 

I personally find that this kind of Misery could only come from a heart that is not in line with God’s heart. Have you ever heard a testimony of a real tragedy? When Christians face tragedies (losing a child is THE greatest of them all in my book), we don’t resort to hate speech or any other kind of dirty tactics. We look for God’s love and peace to guide and rescue us from the pain. We don’t say “why me?”, “I don’t deserve this” or  “this can’t be happening to MEEE”. That is shameful. And it is prideful. And pride is a sin.

Once you are done castrating your husband and he is never able to touch you again because he has seen the dark side of you and he feels like he is always going to be a piece of garbage, I would like to know how that man is ever going to be any good to you or your children. You may as well kill him and stuff him and put his head on your wall. If you want to live your life in that kind of hell, then go for it, but let me tell you one more thing. Your sin (your pride and emasculating, disrespecting, etc. your husband) will not allow you to receive any kind of blessing or restoration from the Lord. Your husband is not the only one in sin. You have to let go of your filthy pride and your issues too. Entitlement is always wrong. You are not entitled to make his life miserable until he dies. If you were, then I guess Jesus would be entitled to do the same with us. 

The fruit of the Spirit (Love, joy, peace, lomgsuffering, goodness, meekness) is expected from all Christians – regardless. There is no clause that says otherwise. If you know I am talking to you, I want to tell you one more thing. You don’t love him anymore. You re obsessed with a concept. Search your heart and be honest with yourself. You need as much help as he does. Find yourself another counselor.

Daddy's Little Girl

All little girls fall in love with their daddies first. I know I did. And from the looks of it, Olivia is in love with her daddy too. My parents were born around the time of the Great Depression and I am 38 years old. Technically, I was raised by grandparents and maybe that has a lot to do with the "wisdom" imparted upon me as I was growing up.

In today's culture of independent thinking and progressive social agendas, I am going to make a bold statement for which I will not excuse myself: A father is an important and integral part of the family unit and apart from a tragedy (death, etc.), or a separation due to uncontrollable circumstances like abuse, there is, nor will there ever be a better environment to raise a child except that which is delineated in the Word of God.

Today because of a friends Facebook post for #girltalk, I started thinking about my father and his impact on my life. Did he have an impact on who I am, who I dated and ultimately, who I married? Continue reading and find out.

We may or may not want to admit it, but all fathers, whether involved or not involved, whether present or not, will have an impact on the development of their children's character and it will be evident by the decisions that person will choose to make.

My father was my hero. When I was growing up and well into my teen years and young adulthood, I considered him to be the most intelligent and kind man alive. I didn't agree with him all the time, but I always (almost always) chose to comply. I honored him by obeying him in spite of myself. Many times I flirted with the thought of rebellion, but his love and his protection (or the thought of losing it) kept me on the straight path. I mentioned on a recent Facebook post that he and his brothers grew up without a father and dirt poor, yet there was not one drug addict or thief in the bunch. His wisdom was not always the most PC, but now as an adult I find that motherhood is constantly reminding me of his words. 

Did you notice what I wrote in the last paragraph? And I quote (myself), "his love and his protection (or the thought of losing it) kept me on the straight path". That sounds like what God does for us? He gives us, as His children, His Love and protection. The older I get the more I understand certain things. Our freedom in Christ allows us to willfully submit to Him because we know He loves us and will protect us (He has plans to prosper us). We trust Him implicitly just like we do our earthly fathers as we get ready to jump into that pool for the first time when we are 4 years old. Incredible how the relationship with our Heavenly Father is so similar to our relationship with our earthly father. It was meant to be that way. Through our earthly relationships, we experience a small glimpse of the Love of Christ for us. 

So did my father have an impact on me? Well... I learned how to deal with people from him, with kindness, respect and authority. I have always enjoyed very healthy relationships with all the men in my life, never feeling like a victim. He taught me that no one was better than me or had the right to humiliate me. I learned what kind of wife I wanted to be from my father. One who would respect and submit to a husband who is willing to die for her. As a matter of fact, I consider myself blessed beyond what I deserve as I now have two men who would die for me and a God who did. He taught me about being a parent. I want to be loved and respected by my children in the same way that I love and respect him. His work ethic: impeccable. And finally, among many other things, he offered me the opportunity to be better than the previous generation. He sent me to a Christian School where I learned what he couldn't teach me about the Love and Word of God and he sent me to College. That was probably his greatest success as a father.

My father also provided a safe haven for me. I felt safe when I was with him. Not my house, it was him. He was my anchor as I navigated through rough waters. I learned that I wanted to marry a man with whom I would always feel protected. A strong man of God who could provide me with a place to rest when I felt weak and who would slow me down when I was moving too fast or going in the wrong direction. Of course, he has his shortcomings as we all do, but I also learned from that. For example, I married a man who is fiscally conservative, which my father applauds and in his old age realizes that he could have been wiser with his money.

The above list of examples of how my father has and continues to impact the development of my character is just the tip of the iceberg. The more I think about it, the longer the list gets. Even today, as he cares for my mother, he demonstrates Love and Love comes from God (John 4:7). So, how did he impact my life? Through a deep and complex web of unspoken lessons, he laid the foundation for who I am today.

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

My Husband Deserves a Trophy Wife!

Today, I am going to write about a very controversial topic. The topic of weight loss or should I say weight gain IS a pretty touchy subject. Would you agree? But could gaining weight or “being fat” ever be as unspeakable as many of the issues that we talk about today? By the way, you can find some of these other issues and my unsolicited opinion about them in previous blog posts (I digress). I think that being fat is terrible. Being called fat is almost as bad as using other negative adjectives, you know the ones. And I for one can be honest about a lot of things, but if your zipper is open, you have a booger in your nose OR you are fat, you won’t hear it from me. That is why I am writing about it.

So… Today, I was asked what made me get serious about losing weight. I stumbled around while trying to answer. It was the first time I had been asked that question even though I had asked it many times before. My answer was sincere, but it wasn't complete. The truth is that I just don’t know exactly, but I will tell you how it all started.

As you know, from my posts and pics, I have 3 kids. After my first pregnancy, in which I only gained 21 lbs, I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight within a week. After my second pregnancy, in which I only gained 19 lbs, I don’t remember what happened. Maybe because they were 15 months apart, but I just really can’t remember what happened until… a few weeks right before David’s 1^st birthday party.  I knew I wanted to lose a few pounds if I wanted to look OK for the pictures. I did. It wasn't a big deal and the pictures were OK. After his birthday which also marked my return to corporate America, I regained my pre-child bearing body, but… (because there is always a but).

To make a long story short David is 8 now and between then and now, I had managed to gain a few pounds. Now, back to this morning’s question… what made me get to the point where I decided that I needed to get back in control? I can honestly say that it was the day that I saw a friend of mine after her lipo. She looked like she had never looked before and I knew that I would never be able to look like that again. SELF PITY! That is what did it for me. I was so happy for her, but so terribly sad for myself. We were so impressed. Even Edwin thought it was like magic. Of course, she had also lost 35 lbs. She explained that her doctor first did the lipo and later she had lost the weight. Of course, we all think it should be the other way around. We were so impressed that Edwin, my knight in shining armor, came to the rescue like he always does. He said I should look into the lipo. At first, I thought it would be impossible for me, with 3 kids and all, to have any kind of procedure. And of course, as my friend mentioned to me, there is such pain, guilt and shame for allowing yourself to get to the point of shopping for a surgeon. But, between the self-pity and the fact that my wedding ring didn't fit, I couldn't just continue on the path of destruction.

So, I did it! I did my arms and inner thighs and that was the start of a happy relationship with my body. I have lost most of my weight by now, still have 10 lbs to go to be at my “Yes, I have three kids and look this good” weight, but I am well on my way. I have been eating healthy, but mostly, I have been breaking some bad habits. 

Here is where it gets good. Bad habits (sigh). Why do we even form these bad habits? I have a lot to say about that and I can even get a little spiritual about it (because this IS spiritual), but what I want is to be clear so that I can help at least one person get serious about not just losing weight, but gaining control. I was talking to someone who said to me that she did not feel like losing weight for her husband. She wanted to lose weight for herself and not to make anyone else happy. I am not going to imply that our happiness has to depend on the happiness of anyone else, but I will say this: My husband deserves to have a trophy wife. I am far from a trophy - physically, anyway ;) - but he does. What that person said to me spoke volumes of the reason why she was overweight in the first place. She is not happy in her situation, doesn't believe her husband deserves a trophy wife and she might be punishing him and herself for it. Women’s emotions are like a spider web. If one of those silk threads gets damaged, the whole web falls apart. Is this making sense, ladies? If you are not 100% well, inside, everything suffers. Once you allow yourself to get into these bad habits, they tend to take the best of you. One bad habit that I had was eating until I felt totally stuffed. It felt awesome. Not sure why, but the feeling of fullness made me happy. I am very happy in with my life: God, husband, family, etc… but maybe, I am in the wrong line of work? Maybe, I wish I was still in corporate America making a bucket full of money? Maybe, I’m just upset because I want my kids to go to a Christian school? Maybe, I feel trapped? Maybe, deep down, I want to home school? I don’t have control over some things, but I know that one thing that I can control is what I eat, so, I will eat until I feel full and in control. You see what I mean? It just takes one little thread! Oh, and btw, your husbands don’t think like this.

Whatever it is that is holding you hostage within yourself, you have to break it. Once you find that taking control feels much better than losing it, you will start moving in the right direction. Now when I see a bag of powdered donuts, I walk away. (Confession: last night I didn't walk away soon enough). It is a day to day thing. We are not perfect, but if you want to be a trophy wife, inside and out, whether your husband deserves it or not… take care of those bad habits. We have to exercise self-control over so many things – I know it’s hard, but you can do it. What motivated me is not the same thing that will motivate you.  

I believe that we are all perfect in the eyes of God. He created us to his image. Anything that we do to our bodies that can distance our appearance (and our hearts) from the original creation is not a good thing. I am obviously an advocate of cosmetic surgery, but it can also become a bad habit. Sex, alcohol, drugs and such can become a bad habit. Working too much can become a bad habit. Loving someone can become a bad habit. Hating yourself can become a bad habit.

If you are looking for an organic weight loss story, I am not the best example. The lipo helps you look better sooner and that motivated me to stick to the diet. It’s almost like cheating, but when you get to the point where you can barely look at yourself in a mirror and you get your kids to stand in front of you in pictures to cover your body from the lens, maybe drastic is the only way to go. I remember when I use to look at myself vainly as I was passing the glass window of any store at the mall. I liked the way I looked. One day I stopped looking at my body in the mirror and only looked at my face to make sure the make-up was right. Finally, I would just look at my eyes in the rear view mirror of the car to put on my eyeliner. The mirror got smaller and smaller. I am back to a good place. Started walking by the glass windows again. Let’s see how long I can hold out. We make conscious decisions every day to be good or bad. I just have to stay away from the powdered donuts. 

PS - We are the bride of Christ!

Why put a bumper sticker on a Lamborghini?

“I Corinthians 10:23: Everything is permissible -- but not everything is beneficial. However, it is probably prudent to realize that if God thought it was a bad idea to cut or tattoo your body in Leviticus, then He still thinks it's not a good idea. The only thing that has changed is how he deals with your decision to go against His wisdom.

Perhaps the qualifying question for a Christian is, of what benefit is "fill-in-the-blank" to the Kingdom of God? Will it further your relationship with Christ? Is it even smart to mark your body permanently with a "here-today-gone-tomorrow" fad that you may one day feel stupid displaying?” – Bob Coy

There is a new fad that I will call “tattooing for Jesus”. I have also seen on the news pole dancing for Jesus (probably the reason why I don’t watch the news). I have always been attracted by tattoos (not pole dancing). I have seriously considered getting a tattoo many times. I even have a post about it. If you know me and you have a tattoo, I have always complimented your tattoo(s) and probably even felt a little jealous of your body art (shhh).  I have never really cared to judge or condemn tattoos, until now. I don’t think that getting a tattoo is going to send you to hell, but I don’t believe that any tattoo has anything to do with glorifying God. Maybe it’s old age, motherhood or maybe I’m just tired of these distractions.

Every time I have thought about getting a tattoo, the reason has always been rebellion or self-gratification. I once met a girl who tattooed a sparrow on her wrist to symbolize her virginity and commitment not to have sex before marriage. Sounds noble enough – a sacred covenant. I have also seen enough episodes of Inked to know that people often get tattoos as part of their grieving process after losing a loved one. If that is the case I will tell you this: My parents have been mourning my sister’s death for 37 years and no amount of money, parties, drinking, friends, collectibles Lladros or jewelry could ever erase that memory or fill that empty, gaping hole.

Being that tattoos are an outward expression of your heart, a Christian themed tattoo seems to be ok, right? Well, as a parent, I wouldn’t want my daughter or son to mark their bodies for any reason. I want them to think twice about the impact that these kinds of compromising actions/decisions will have on their life – whether it is a tattoo, sex, smoking, drinking, drugs…These actions will not necessarily send you to hell, but it will leave a mark – whether inside or outside, or both. When it comes to my kids, I don’t want to see anything marking the skin of a child who I raised and cared for by wiping away every tear and cleaning blood from their scraped knees. Doing everything so that all of those falls and scrapes won't leave a mark. Unfortunately, David split his right knee open when he was 6 and had to get 14 stitches. That left a severe scar and there is not one day that goes by that I don’t wish that his scar was on me rather than him. Jonathan also has tiny scars that remind me of his time in the NICU – his PIC line, the day of the blood transfusion… should I go on?

So, when the most exciting thing that happened in Sunday School is that the Sunday school teacher got a new tattoo, what am I supposed to tell my kids?  That the tattoo glorifies God? I for one can't accept that because my tattoo infatuation has always been about the flesh and not the spirit. If you want a tattoo, get one, take responsibility for it and stop trying to sanctify it. It is not a witnessing tool. It is a tattoo. An ordinary tattoo. The only extraordinary thing you got on you is the Holy Spirit. 

Now, the Bible only addresses marking and cutting your skin in the OT. Some argue that the words of the OT no longer apply and after the grace that we received through the death of Jesus on the cross, we don’t have to live by any of those rules (FYI - Jesus came to fulfill the law). Others will argue that the actions of marking the skin and eating unclean animals are never mentioned in the NT, but when you read you need to understand that these were rules that God gave His people so that they would stand out as the chosen people of God. I don’t think anything has changed. Today, there are (pagan) practices that have nothing to do with God and God’s people should have nothing to do with them. Just like some of us will stay away from celebrating Halloween because of its origins, the history or origin of this ritual (tattooing) is not something that we should take lightly. We should be different – that is what attracts people to us. Not our tattoos, piercings, using curse words in our worship music, etc. Unbelievers have tried it all. What they are missing is Jesus. They are looking for redemption and purity – the purity that comes from the blood of Jesus, not the blood-letting of the tattoo. Please, please, do not underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit which convicts through the Word of God.

“Jesus didn’t burn anything in protest of other religions. His only physical marks were scars from his crucifixion, not a stunt to increase the crowd to 5,000 (plus women and children) for the feeding miracle. He had another plan…

He would build his church on the truth that He was the Christ – the one-and-only Messiah/Savior – and that message would be the foundation of what would follow. Today – as it was, then – that is the most controversial thing we could say or do: to maintain that the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to the Father in Heaven is the offense of history. Consider me offensive, with no headlines….” – Bob Shank

The devil is the master of compromise. It’s the little things… let’s vote pro-choice, let’s vote pro marriage equality because my lesbian friend would give me her kidney if I needed it, let’s not talk about sin at church because then people won’t come back. The devil is also the master of distractions… let’s wear green nail polish on Tuesday at 3PM so that everyone who sees our green nail polish will ask about Jesus, but let’s not post anything in support of Israel, let’s not teach from the OT, let’s not talk about doctrine and let’s be politically correct or better yet a-political.

Listen, if you are reading this and you are one of my un-saved friends, I love your tatts! If you are reading this and you are one of my saved friends and you plan on getting a tattoo, better you than me ;). If you are my child and you are reading this in 10 years because you want to permanently mark yourself for the sake of who knows what, read on.

Let’s start branding ourselves on the inside. Let’s read the OT along with the rest of the Bible. Let’s start with the 10 commandments – I bet you will find a solution to your existential or humanistic crisis by reading through those 10 simple rules. Don’t kill (abortion), don’t covet (if you want your neighbors car, get a degree and work hard and get yourself promoted to a higher paying position)…  And if you are thinking about getting a Christian tattoo, please think about this: You were wonderfully and fearfully made. You are perfect in the eyes of God. So, why put a bumper sticker on a Lamborghini?

“Pilate was merciful till it became risky.”

Election 2012


“Pilate was merciful till it became risky.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Revelation 2:10 -  Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown.

The church has been afraid far too long and now it may be too late. When I was growing up, I got fire and brimstone from the pulpit - nothing that could scare the "Jesus" out of me, but it did help me make some good decisions along the way. Don't get me wrong... I have also made a series of bad decisions along the way.

I took a little "exit" poll after the elections and it looks like the church is indeed afraid. In many other countries the church has to be afraid because religious leaders do go to prison and they are killed for preaching the Word of God, but here in the good ole US of A that will never happen! Well, I have news for you, it already is happening as we stand by and continue to produce mass conversions, but fail to teach the Word of God. The Gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are not the only books of the Bible. There is also Revelation. Does anyone listen to Raul Ries when talks about the end times? When he calls things by their name? "Killing babies", he says. People, it is time that the church stop sugar-coating things and starts throwing fire and brimstone from the pulpit. We can't LOVE (the love that Jesus intends we have for one another) unless we know how to love and what love is and some times love = spanking one of my kids for misbehaving. It is not all unicorns and rainbows.

“A moderated religion is as good for us as no religion at all—and more amusing.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters 

If I am a mother of 10, 12, 18, 25 children, does only delivering those children make me a good mother? Do I really LOVE my children? No, unless I feed them, keep them clean, warm when it is cold, and most of all, if I bring them up with morals and standards, to know the difference between right and wrong (and as a Christian, teach them the Word of God and lead them down the path of Salvation). We can't continue to mass produce Christians because you get what we have today. No real repentance, only euphoria and then what? What about doctrine? You can't put the Bible in a 3 ring binder and take out the pages that you don't like. But how are they supposed to know where the pulpit stands on issues like "killing babies"? Shhhh! First, let's show them love (by compromising Biblical truth for social and cultural acceptance), then we can all sing, hold hands and make pretend until election day. This is like rehabilitation to the person who was once disabled by some kind of physical ailment. After a surgery that will help them, for example, walk again, they don't just get up from the OR table and walk, they go through rehabilitation to learn how to walk. Same principle. "Go and sin no more".

No one is at FAULT for the outcome of these elections. We can try to rationalize through this as much as we want, but it will never work. I am still wondering how Obama took out Hillary in 2008? That is the $1 million question. I may not have the right answer, but I do have an answer. This is a spiritual war. Nothing more, nothing less and not even Ronald Reagan incarnated could have won these elections. All of the social issues are a cover up for the enemy to inch it's way in to our way of life. To divide and conquer. Did you see it - almost 50/50. We are divided. And for those who will say that this is the will of God, I say this - the will of God is that none should perish, but we know that many will. So He has allowed it to happen (because God IS in control of everything), but I doubt that He is happy about it. Could it have been prevented? Sure, but He allowed it. Blessed be the name of the Lord for allowing this. His ways are straight and one day we will know why.

In the meantime, I challenge Christians not to be afraid. We still have religious freedom (for now anyway) and we are still strong. Yes, God is Love, but he is our Heavenly Father and He is not afraid to use the rod to get our attention when necessary.

Achtung Baby!

I have lots more to say about the elections. I was terribly disappointed by the things that actually made it on the ballot (doctor-assisted suicide, recreational marijuana, killing babies) and some of these actually passed.
I just want to say one thing toward the topic of abortion. I could never imagine what a woman who decides to have an abortion could be going through. It must be the toughest decision of her life, but partial birth/ late term abortions? Do you know that right here in South Miami Hospital the smallest preemie was born at 22 weeks, 3 days, weighing in at 13 oz. and he survived? I heard Olivia's heart beating for the first time when I was 5 weeks pregnant. You can hear a heartbeat even earlier than that. When a couple has a miscarriage, do they ever say "we lost a fetus"? NO! They say "we lost the baby". Your baby is in heaven waiting for you. It doesn't matter what you have done, when you repent it is all made new. "Go and sin no more".

Back to the elections and to my disappointment. What I was most disappointed with was my "exit" poll. The churches did not speak about the elections clearly. If they had maybe (maybe not) the outcome could have been different. We should be Christians above all, then we are Hispanic, black, white, etc. Moral issues have been usurped by the liberal agenda and these groups are also being used (exploited) to further that agenda. At the end, no homosexual, woman (pro-choice) or immigrant will matter.

Last but not least, my rant about this new found hate for the rich. Since when have Americans hated the rich? What makes the US so appealing is that here we have the OPPORTUNITY, with hard work, to be "rich" one day our selves. This hate is not American. This is not what our fathers and grandfathers came here for. To hate the rich. How terribly sad. The "American Dream" as we knew it, is no more. Unrecognizable.

“We must picture hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives with the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters 

The references to C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters can be found at:
http://starlingford.wordpress.com/category/screwtapes-commentary/page/2/

Thanks to a friend for turning me on to the Screwtape Letters.

Check out the link. It will blow you away.

And finally - thanks to all of those who did stand your ground. I tip my hat, I am forever in your debt on behalf of  the people that you are able to reach and for your service to this country and your commitment, for being responsible for your flock and holding yourselves accountable to God.

Rosie

No one belongs here...

Edwin and I went back to our room after a long, hot day and he said to me, "you see why I don't belong here?". 

 

I replied, "no one belongs here".

We just got back from a trip that I never thought I would take. It was a journey to the center of the earth. Maybe it was the heat, or maybe it was the sound of an old car radio playing Hotel California, but I think we may have been close to "that" place.

Before I go on, I want to say that we received nothing but love from the people of this country. That their suffering is now mine and that I pray for them, their safety and ultimately, their freedom.

We didn't find a single communist in Cuba during our two week trip. We did find much heartache: broken families, misery, beggars, destruction. Only the Grace of God can keep those people safe from disease in a place that boasts of zero infant mortality and other health related lies. Where doctors make the equivalent of $25 USD per month and are jailed if a patient dies while in their care. Next door to where we stayed lives a good doctor and family friend, who had been on call 24 hours a day for 2 weeks. Her kids were the poorest kids on their block until her husband defected about 2 years ago. He sends her money, but he can't come back and she has requested to leave, but the punishment (purgatory) is from 5 - 10 years. In the meantime, while she waits, her directors threaten her daily and her children grow up with out a father and not any less poor.

There is no internet access in Cuba. Only a select group of people get some kind of dial up for email only. No surfing the web. If you have "a contact", they will charge you $80 USD per month for 1 hour x day of internet access. And don't get me started on how I feel about the embargo... an insult to the intelligence of the Cuban exiles and the Cuban people, but if lifted, things would not be any better. Where there is no purchasing power and zero opportunity for upward mobility, more "stuff" won't help. It would only create another level of poverty. The government doesn't care for (hates) the people. Even with the "embargo" things come in through countries like Venezuela, Brazil and others, but only citizens with access to dollars, euros or other foreign currency can have limited access, if any, to the left overs that the government decides to put on the shelves at the so-called stores. 

Hospital waste gets dumped into a River which drains into the ocean just near the public beach. Medicine there is barbaric. No epidurals for natural birth. They prefer to perform c-sections on all women. Babies whose mothers can't breastfeed have to drink regular powdered milk - no formula available. Diapers, any hygiene product, milk (any), oil, soap, oatmeal, etc. are scarce if at all available. Only available in the stores where you pay with CUC's which is a currency that they have invented - the exchange rate is about usd $0.85 to 1 CUC and 1 CUC is about 25 Cuban Pesos. That means that in order to buy 1 can of condensed milk at CUC 3.00, our friend the doctor would have to invest 1 month's salary to make a Natilla or Flan.

Looking out onto the ocean, I can't help but feel the same agony that I see in their faces. The situation there is so complicated because the only way to survive is to stick together, but sticking together means people have to give up their hopes of some day becoming a real human being away from that place. The government has been successful at separating and ultimately destroying the family unit. Once that is lost, everything else falls apart and the enemy can begin the work of invading society with malice and immorality. Standards are lowered to the point that selling yourself to feed your children is something that I can't condone, but I will not condemn. In some cases the church has become too busy requiring certain actions from it's members and condemning the lost instead of living out the Great Commandment. 

Only the Grace of Jesus and the hope of Heaven is keeping these people sane, although, the doctors will tell you that everyone is on depression and pain meds. From their early 20's to the elderly.

I hope that our trip to Cuba was a blessing to at least one person. We were breaking paradigms and spreading Love in the name of Jesus. We gave away many smiles and hours of listening to story after story of death, divorce, disease and devastation. What is undeniable is that this trip was a blessing for us, as we were able to witness real people living by Faith alone.  

No one belongs in that place. Please pray for our friends.

John 10:10 - "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

Summer Vacation... really?

Seems like I am washing more clothes, cooking more food and running around more than ever. David is like a caged animal on the days he has to stay inside. Olivia can entertain herself, but she craves for more - mami, gymnastics... mami, swimming... mami, Target... mami, mami, mami. She walks around with me in the grocery store chatting... bzzzzzz. I lose my concentration and forget to buy half of the things on my list and toward the end of the trip, she says: "mami, am I driving you crazy?" She really is my companion. And as much as she dislikes it (some days she loves it, other days she hates it) she looks just like me when I was her age, except that she is prettier. :)


So, I started the summer unemployed. Looking for something, but not knowing exactly what and I found it. Or IT found me. I am the new Community Relations Rep for 90.9 Life FM - that is 909lifefm.com in case you want to stream us on your computer. Finally working full time in ministry. Really? Is that what I have wanted to do for the past 6 years? Yes! Really.

The job, well it is awesome. It is a part-time, I get to be on the radio (it's a recorded spot, but the kids get a kick out of it), I have a nice boss and co-workers. Nice is really not the right word - they are awesome too. I love going to the office to hang out with the team (and work  ;)  of course). I have also enjoyed meeting the people who want to support us and get their message out to our listeners by becoming underwriters. I hope I can help every single one of them.

90.9 Life FM: Bringing Life Through the Word of God

In case anyone wants to donate: https://secure.acceptiva.com/?cst=ce9e98

A bit of a new identity for me, I must say. Before, I was the one with the budget!

I will close with a two totally unrelated verses (to the post) just because I found them today and I wanted to share:

Daniel 2:44 - "In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever."

Matthew 3:2 - "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near"

- Rosa