Recently, I have become very closely acquainted with matters
of infidelity. DON”T FREAK! I’m not the victim or the victimizer.
I have read articles and heard stories, that, well… are
truly disturbing, but none like this one. I am going to skip through the
details because, if I would have been able to choose, I would have chosen to
never, ever know about this. Really – I have lost sleep and a few other things
over this one.
Let’s get down to the important part. How to deal with
infidelity and what is the right way to deal with your cheating spouse
according the Bible. I wanted to write a Bible verse-laced post so that any serious and
experienced Christian who read it (not that I have any kind of a following or
anything) would see that I was diligent in my research, however I have decided
that I will go with my gut. All this means is that I am going to vent and tell
you how I think things shouldn't be handled… just for the sake of getting this
off my chest and in the hope that certain people will stumble across this post.
Ladies, please, let me tell you that I have not been in your
situation. I may be one day, but I pray I am not. I don’t want to be and more importantly,
I don’t want my husband to be in this situation because I love him. I also want
to let you know that every story is different and I don’t intend to say, with
any kind of authority, that specific actions are not required because I am not a
professional. With that said, I will tell you from the get-go that EMASCULATING
your husband and the father of your children in not the way to go. I find this
method appalling and I want to denounce it right now. Just as I don't agree when a male counselor wants to blame the woman for everything and expects for a woman to carry a black eye for the sake of Eph 5:22, I don’t understand how
any Christian counselor will suggest or agree to EMASCULATING your husband and in my humble opinion
it will only create a weaker man.
I am a mother of two boys and I will tell you that I may have no
idea on how to raise them, but one thing that I am sure of is that I will never
accept for any woman to humiliate them. If I, their mother who carried and
birthed them do not use humiliation as a disciplinary tactic, you can be sure
that I will not accept it from anyone else.
Ladies, please beware. You are not helping your husbands to
be a strong man in Christ if you are doing these kinds of things. He has to
earn back your trust, yes, but don’t think that you are now the man of the
house and have to slap him around. Nowhere in the Bible have I ever read that
it is even a little bit OK to emotionally abuse each other in this manner. If
the respect is gone and things have gone so far off path, then maybe it’s time
to let go and let God. You are not just your husband’s victim now, but you are
your own victim at this point. You are a victim of your own pride. You are
probably putting your kids through hell. They know. They always know. And
please don’t teach your kids (daughters) that all men are weak animals because
THAT IS NOT WHAT GOD MADE MAN TO BE.
Ha! Just when you thought I was a feminist, I drop this
bomb! Well, it sickens me beyond belief that this is happening and that there
are actual professionals doing this. Maybe I don’t understand. Maybe I just can’t
understand because I am not the one going through it, but if you believe in God’s unconditional love, you know that we are all sinners and yet Christ
died for us without any strings attached. He offers us His Love and forgiveness
without beating us down or making us feel unworthy.
I personally find that this kind of Misery could only come
from a heart that is not in line with God’s heart. Have you ever heard a testimony
of a real tragedy? When Christians face tragedies (losing a child is THE
greatest of them all in my book), we don’t resort to hate speech or any other kind of dirty tactics.
We look for God’s love and peace to guide and rescue us from the pain. We don’t
say “why me?”, “I don’t deserve this” or “this can’t be happening to MEEE”. That is
shameful. And it is prideful. And pride is a sin.
Once you are done castrating your husband and he is never
able to touch you again because he has seen the dark side of you and he feels
like he is always going to be a piece of garbage, I would like to know how that
man is ever going to be any good to you or your children. You may as well kill
him and stuff him and put his head on your wall. If you want to live your life
in that kind of hell, then go for it, but let me tell you one more thing. Your
sin (your pride and emasculating, disrespecting, etc. your husband) will not
allow you to receive any kind of blessing or restoration from the Lord. Your husband
is not the only one in sin. You have to let go of your filthy pride and your
issues too. Entitlement is always wrong. You are not entitled to make his life miserable until he dies. If you were, then I guess Jesus would be entitled to do the same with us.
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