Today is a great day. I feel God's Love all around. A prayer was answered concerning my job situation last week. I had a very smart meeting although I could barely think in that girdle... still losing weight one mLs at a time.
I wanted to write about expectations. Some times we have such great expectations only to be ultimately disappointed. I will say this - once you realize that every thing that happens in your life is the will of God, the disappointment is easier to brush off because God will always answer your prayers at the precise time.
We never expected to have Jonathan. We never expected that he would be born so early. I never expected that the NICU would have such a lasting impression on me. I never expected to make some mistakes I've made. You get the picture, right?
Even though we didn't expect Jonathan, once it was confirmed, we had great expectations for our lives as a family of 5, so when he came so early and we didn't know what to expect, things got complicated, but also thing became very clear. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart...". That is it. How simple. Or was it?
I have always had great expectations for every aspect of my life. For myself professionally, for Edwin, the children. I see untapped beauty and talent in my kids. I see endless possibilities in my profession. I look forward to events and dates with the highest expectation for success.
A few weeks ago I mentioned that my kids were going to VBS the first week of summer. I prayed for them and their time at VBS - that it would be a fruitful time for them (spiritually). I had the highest expectations... I was sure that one, if not both would make their confession of faith that week. So the week came and went and I did ask. No real solid answer from either one. One thing was sure, they LOVED VBS and the church and God.
Today in the am, I can barely remember what we were doing, but Olivia told me (nonchalantly) that she had said the prayer. She was very specific. It was with the Pastor. The Sunday after VBS was over, we visited that church for the VBS celebration and the Pastor mentioned that he went to each class to share with the children. Olivia's story was consistent... although it was the first I had heard of it. Nonetheless, I was (am and will be) thrilled. Maybe I just wasn't asking the right question. I asked Olivia to ask David if he did it too. They understand eachother.
Since the NICU, I have limited our music selection to only Christian songs. Why? Because they memorize everything!!! This is a change that I made as God dealth with my heart during the 5 weeks in the hospital. First time I make it public. Edwin has sure noticed. If you know me, you know how much I love music - all types, but I have found that Sara Kelly's Living Halleluja fills me with strength and joy much more than Dave Matthews. Wish DMB would convert - their worship music would be amazing. Them and Mana, U2 and Winsil y Yandel. I digress...? :)
Well, all of this to say that once again God has met and exceeded my expectations. What next? Always excited about God's Love and His neverending goodness.
I hope my post met your expectations...
Rosie
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
mLs
What is an mLs? Ever wonder how your mother can pull together a meal and not measure a single thing?
I have been trying to get this post out since forever! I have had to change tenses, dates and numbers at least three times and finally two days ago after it was all done, I hit backspace and lost everything. Arg!
At the NICU with Jonathan, every number was so very important. In one of my previous posts, I mention several acronyms (DOL, ASD, etc.). Just the other day, I was chatting with a fellow NICU mom and she asked me if Jonathan had BPD. I immediately said no and then asked her what the letters stood for instead of the other way around. I was so use to the acronyms that even though I didn't know what BPD was, I knew that Jonathan had not been diagnosed with it (bronchopulmonary dysplasia).
This week, Jonathan turns 4 months. On the 5th (of May) Edwin and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. On the 12 (of may) was Olivia's 7th birthday... and so we continue to keep up with all the dates, measurements, and the numbers.
But really what is a number when there are words like infinity and eternity that we must deal with. Infite love. Eternal life. Things that have no price and that we can't measure.
I wanted to continue sharing some details about the NICU with you in a journal format. But I have since realized (as if I didn't already know this) that there are a finite number of hours in the day, or minutes, I should say, since I try to squeeze every minute out of each day - for both you and I. I am going to summarize DOL (day of life) 8 to present (47 weeks) into a few quick highlights for both our sakes.
Here they are:
- Weight from 3.5 lbs (1500 gms) to 4 lbs 7 oz (1990 gms) on day of discharge, today he is over 13 lbs - that is alot of grams!
- Feeds went from 3mLs x 6 hours to 5 mls, to 8, to 10, to 15... to 30 mLs x 3 hours on day of discharge, today he takes between 4 - 5 oz (150 mLs) x 3 - 4 hours. Cereal with his milk 3 times per day.
- Oxygen was discontinued on Feb 21
- WBC stabilized, H=H (Hemoglobin and Hemocrite) went from 8 and 24 on day of discharge to 12 and 37 by May 5.
- Antibiotics and Lasix were discontinued
- PICC line out on March 1st
- Head Ultrasound, Heart Ultrasound and Eye exams clear
- Sleep test would require apnea monitor after discharge, the monitor was discontinued on May 18
I think those "details" will suffice. If you want to read my hand written notes, you have to come over and I will let you read the original manuscript :). But his outer appearance speaks for itself. As soon as you meet him, you will be able to appreciate the level of health and happiness that 150 mLs of milk with rice cereal can produce.
As I mentioned earlier, I had finished this post once before and lost it. It is a shame because I just can't get it to come together like the last time. I wanted to talk to you about the immeasurable Love of God (again - yes - because it is unmeasureable so we have to talk about it an unmeasureable amount of times). The Love of God received through the love given by the NICU angels, and the Love of God received from our family and friends. BUT I lost it all!!!
I am going to say what is on my mind today and what has been on my mind for the past weeks after Jonathan has been home. Every one has his or her purpose and not too many of us are born and can immediately appreciate what our purpose is. I for one am still looking for mine - even though, again, the NICU experience has given me a few things to think about - but that is a whole other post.... I digress.
Any who, Jonathan, his little body (not anymore), with his tubes and IV's came to this world, to our world with a very specific purpose. Probably not the only purpose (I hope he continues to serve as a tool for God's work as he grows), but one very obvious change is that our family is now closer. The need to see Jonathan and be a part of his development has become a bait/hook for our immediate family to come to visit. Sometimes more than once in a week which was unheard of before the baby. And we also have the desire to share Jonathan's life and his rollitos (rolls) with them as well. We actually miss them when they spend more than a day or two without calling or coming by. We have learned how to NEED eachother and I pray that we don't forget.
Psalm 127:3 -
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
Jonathan was unplanned by us, but he was certainly in God's plan. I look forward to seeing what else God has planned for us.
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Love, Rosie
PS - I feel like I am losing weight one mLs at a time...
I have been trying to get this post out since forever! I have had to change tenses, dates and numbers at least three times and finally two days ago after it was all done, I hit backspace and lost everything. Arg!
At the NICU with Jonathan, every number was so very important. In one of my previous posts, I mention several acronyms (DOL, ASD, etc.). Just the other day, I was chatting with a fellow NICU mom and she asked me if Jonathan had BPD. I immediately said no and then asked her what the letters stood for instead of the other way around. I was so use to the acronyms that even though I didn't know what BPD was, I knew that Jonathan had not been diagnosed with it (bronchopulmonary dysplasia).
This week, Jonathan turns 4 months. On the 5th (of May) Edwin and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. On the 12 (of may) was Olivia's 7th birthday... and so we continue to keep up with all the dates, measurements, and the numbers.
But really what is a number when there are words like infinity and eternity that we must deal with. Infite love. Eternal life. Things that have no price and that we can't measure.
I wanted to continue sharing some details about the NICU with you in a journal format. But I have since realized (as if I didn't already know this) that there are a finite number of hours in the day, or minutes, I should say, since I try to squeeze every minute out of each day - for both you and I. I am going to summarize DOL (day of life) 8 to present (47 weeks) into a few quick highlights for both our sakes.
Here they are:
- Weight from 3.5 lbs (1500 gms) to 4 lbs 7 oz (1990 gms) on day of discharge, today he is over 13 lbs - that is alot of grams!
- Feeds went from 3mLs x 6 hours to 5 mls, to 8, to 10, to 15... to 30 mLs x 3 hours on day of discharge, today he takes between 4 - 5 oz (150 mLs) x 3 - 4 hours. Cereal with his milk 3 times per day.
- Oxygen was discontinued on Feb 21
- WBC stabilized, H=H (Hemoglobin and Hemocrite) went from 8 and 24 on day of discharge to 12 and 37 by May 5.
- Antibiotics and Lasix were discontinued
- PICC line out on March 1st
- Head Ultrasound, Heart Ultrasound and Eye exams clear
- Sleep test would require apnea monitor after discharge, the monitor was discontinued on May 18
I think those "details" will suffice. If you want to read my hand written notes, you have to come over and I will let you read the original manuscript :). But his outer appearance speaks for itself. As soon as you meet him, you will be able to appreciate the level of health and happiness that 150 mLs of milk with rice cereal can produce.
As I mentioned earlier, I had finished this post once before and lost it. It is a shame because I just can't get it to come together like the last time. I wanted to talk to you about the immeasurable Love of God (again - yes - because it is unmeasureable so we have to talk about it an unmeasureable amount of times). The Love of God received through the love given by the NICU angels, and the Love of God received from our family and friends. BUT I lost it all!!!
I am going to say what is on my mind today and what has been on my mind for the past weeks after Jonathan has been home. Every one has his or her purpose and not too many of us are born and can immediately appreciate what our purpose is. I for one am still looking for mine - even though, again, the NICU experience has given me a few things to think about - but that is a whole other post.... I digress.
Any who, Jonathan, his little body (not anymore), with his tubes and IV's came to this world, to our world with a very specific purpose. Probably not the only purpose (I hope he continues to serve as a tool for God's work as he grows), but one very obvious change is that our family is now closer. The need to see Jonathan and be a part of his development has become a bait/hook for our immediate family to come to visit. Sometimes more than once in a week which was unheard of before the baby. And we also have the desire to share Jonathan's life and his rollitos (rolls) with them as well. We actually miss them when they spend more than a day or two without calling or coming by. We have learned how to NEED eachother and I pray that we don't forget.
Psalm 127:3 -
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
Jonathan was unplanned by us, but he was certainly in God's plan. I look forward to seeing what else God has planned for us.
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Love, Rosie
PS - I feel like I am losing weight one mLs at a time...
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